With Luke overseas again, living the life of a modern-day Judith Chalmers, I was required to serve as both captain and vice-captain. What could possibly go wrong? After successfully completing the draw, and thanks to Ivan for reminding me that I had forgotten to do the coin toss to decide who would break. I get muddled up.
I decided that I’d referee the first game and I was all ready with my beer and Hula Hoops, excited to see PJ winning to set us off on our winning ways. We’re the only team that the Red Lion have beaten all season, so I was confident we’d be able to get a victory on home territory. They had won the toss, so it was their team who would break in the first game.
My game was next and I managed to lose a break worth 460 points after an unfortunate interaction with our charmingly unpredictable table. As this was our home venue, blaming the equipment required a certain degree of confidence, but I recovered sufficiently to win and level the match at 1–1. Which reminds me, I must get Luke to re-level our table as that’s something that I’m not allowed to do.
Vaughan arrived and, after acquiring a beer, was sent directly to play his game. I felt that he would be in tip-top form if given as little time as possible to think about matters. My new policy of minimising the amount of time available for players to think had produced its first measurable success.
Vaughan was on tip-top form and put us 2-1 ahead, so my nerves started to settle a little. The vice-captain offered the captain no useful reassurance whatsoever.
Cal brought over the mid-game snacks and then fought in a close game before an unfortunate incident involving a miscue and the black peg where his score was wiped out. However, Cal got the biggest break of the game on our team, showing his natural talent. Ivan and Ian were unlucky and it suddenly meant that we were 4-2 down as we went into the doubles. My stress levels increased.
Ben, making his debut for the team, scored 200 with his first shot and immediately appeared substantially more competent than some of us who had been doing this for considerably longer. He will be allowed to play again. Actually, he doesn’t really have much choice, he’s on the team now.
Ben and Ian won before a highly competent Ivan and Vaughan brought us level at 4–4, leaving PJ and me to play the deciding game. Another unfortunate incident occurred which I shall not mention, but the shortened version is that we lost 5–4.
I think the absence of Luke’s carefully positioned mirror behind the table contributed substantially to the defeat. It had become detached from the wall for reasons that remain under investigation, and we are waiting for him to return from his latest holiday and restore it. It has been suggested that a civil engineer might need to oversee the matter next time.
We had come remarkably close, although the league table will show no interest in the emotional complexity of the evening. Many thanks to Tom and his team for a great evening and we look forward to returning to Coltishall next year. And we’re going to win that one. Definitely.