Category: Bar Billiards

I wouldn’t say that I was pre-annoyed when turning up at the Artichoke for our team’s second game, but I was certainly pre-stressed. We were playing the Black Stars and they have their own branded uniform and everything, so they’re evidently a force to be reckoned with and not just a bunch of accidental amateurs. So I thought that I’d calm my nerves with half a cider and an orange juice & lemonade, a drink combination that either suggested moderation or an imminent collapse.

And it was time for the draw and many thanks to Luke for arranging some tags for our team so that I don’t have to tear up little bits of paper. I’m not suggesting the little bits of paper made me look amateurish, but they did perhaps hint at an operation not yet fully entirely touched by modernity. I didn’t mind who I secured in the draw, but I just didn’t want Dave Brewer as he’s in the singles final on Saturday. I’m not saying the other players are inferior to Dave, but he has an aura of invincibility and it would be unlikely that I’d draw him.

And just bloody typical. Dave in the singles and doubles. But, it’s important to remain calm and I just didn’t want a repeat of last week against the Serengeti when three matches went down to the final ball, so I mentioned that we should avoid those situations.

The first game was Andrew against PJ and they ignored my instructions about the final ball, which was disappointing as I had delivered them in the tone of a man who absolutely did not want to be ignored. Andrew went first and he was ahead by 760 to 580 with that final ball left.

Close…. But, as I’ve discovered, being close in this game is often rather sub-optimal.

And PJ was ruthless, he took the opportunity to win the game by just twenty points. I needed a sit down.

The second game and another final shot. Phil knocked the black over and that meant that Vaughan won the game, putting us 2-0 up. But there was an excellent break by Phil of 980 in the match, a very good game. It was then my game against Dave (pictured looking confident on the right) and what could possibly go wrong…. PJ and Vaughan only made their league debuts last week and now they’re looking like established players, it’s a joy to behold and all that.

My only photo of the game and the blurriness was not Dave moving so fast the camera couldn’t catch him, it’s because I was moderately shaking. Anyway, let’s not linger here, Dave pulled 900 ahead and I decided the only tactic was to knock enough 10s and 20s in to catch up slowly but surely without him noticing. The bar dropped and it meant that I would need something of a miracle, but fortunately, the ball went in the 100 and I was able to get the final 200 shot in as well. My strategy for the 200 was not to think about it, but play it quickly, which worked. I hope that I haven’t dented Dave’s confidence for the final of the singles on Saturday.

I don’t drink gin and tonic, but I needed one, along with a Flump, to steady my nerves. It was, in its way, a balanced response to events really and having access to an extensive array of bar snacks is quite important to me.

Thanks to Julian (sr) for supplying these for the teams. And thanks also to manager Cal for offering me therapy as the close games piled up one after another. Incidentally, he’s one of the best people to work with behind a bar and I am unanimous in that. He’s on the team and is practising regularly for when his time comes. I’m sure I’ve mentioned, but Tayto’s have become one of my favourite crisp options.

Julian (sr) arrived to look at the results so far. Although by this stage someone, who shall remain nameless, had already shared the result of the Brewer-White match with numerous other league players and about half the Lionhearts so news was leaking out to the local bar billiards world meaning discretion had not especially survived the evening.

However, the Black Stars were just too formidable for us to hold back, and Mark, Neil and then Russell won their games before they also won all three doubles games which I thought was a bit greedy but I didn’t say anything. Which isn’t to say that we didn’t come very close, with Terri and Luke scoring over 1,000 in their game. Terri has definitely mastered the 20s shot and Luke manages to knock some huge scores out, he obtained a break of 870 in his singles match.

And special mention to Gabriel on the right here who was playing in his first league match and secured a break of 660 in his first game. That’s more than I think most people get in their first competitive game and he’s going to be our secret weapon, I just know it.

As some background, the Black Stars only lost two matches last year, with one of them being against the Artichoke team. So Dave admitted that when they were three-nil down, there was some déjà vu coming back in. But we’re not unhappy with losing 6-3, it’s a long season and, as I am obliged to say, it is not all about winning. It is about having a fun night out in a pub. Unless we win, in which case it is at least partly about that. I also didn’t go to the King’s Head after as I’m reserving that only for when we win, but I did sit for a while to calm down.

We’re at home to the Coach and Horses next week and I’m very much looking forward to it. It might be just a little unnerving at times, but it’s a lot of fun and thanks again to the Black Stars for a really rather lovely evening.

It’s a new season for Norwich bar billiards and time for the first league match for the Artichoke Hearts. Now I appear to be captain (which is either a mark of trust or a sign that standards have slipped, I’m fairly sure I know which it is), this meant that I had the honour of being involved with the draw for the evening. As I don’t get out much, this was all very exciting. The team we were playing was the Serengeti, who I used to play for, which added to the potential drama and I was inevitably going to be on my best behaviour. Many thanks to Roy, the Serengeti captain and one of the nicest people going, for all of this excitement.

And there’s the draw, six singles matches and three doubles. As the Serengeti had seven players, I randomly drew one to not play a singles game and that by chance was my friend Emma, but she was very calm about the matter. We only had five players and poor Terri found herself playing two singles games in a row and it was Luke that was drawn to play two doubles matches.

I thought I’d better have a beer to calm my nerves, this is the Best Laid Plans from Salopian Brewery, a fruity, fluffy and light beer.

It’s all happening now. Emma took charge in the role of being the official scribe which involved writing all the results up on the board, and she generally did this quite well. I think Emma sort of agreed that I was on my best behaviour throughout.

After four games, it was 2-2 and so this all felt quite stressful, so I went to get another beer. This is the Foamy Dome from Three Blind Mice Brewery, which had some orange punching through in terms of the flavour. There was then food and I managed to forget to photograph it, a slightly sub-optimal arrangement. Landlord Oscar marched across the room at this point and everyone was stunned into silence, we think he was trying to pick up some tactics for his team games.

Matters didn’t become less stressful for me, as we found ourselves 4-2 down with the three doubles matches still to play. Luke and Vaughan won their match, then Terri and I won in a very close game against Emma and Roy. That meant it was 4-4 with one game left and not only was it tense, it went down to the final ball. There’s Luke taking his shot and, to cut a long story short, it was all enough and we found ourselves 5-4 up. I pretended that it was all just a game and it didn’t matter, but I was already planning my next beer as I needed a celebration.

And here’s my reward for our team’s performance, a pint of Creme Bearlee and I must have been very stressed as I’ve realised that I didn’t put this on Untappd. And poor Vaughan and PJ in their first league game, I’m pleased that they seemed to enjoy it enough to come back again and not be put off.

The final result, 5-4 to the Artichoke Hearts. Anyway, the Serengeti are a fine team, the games were very close and they were unlucky not to come out ahead. But, that’s enough praise, we all had a lovely time and at least I know we won’t end the season on zero points. And I had an excuse to pop to the Weaver’s and the King’s Head afterwards to settle my nerves. The main thing is though there’s lots of great people involved, it’s a fun thing to do and if anyone is interested in coming along to watch, please do! The next match is at home to the Black Stars next week and they are known to be pretty formidable. I’m wondering if we could have a strategy of overdosing them on bar snacks, that might be our best plan here.

It was the last friendly game before the league games start, so I thought I’d steady my nerves with a non-alcoholic Guinness.

I was suitably excited about this, it’s the first time that I’ve had to fill this in. And all without my very capable vice-captain Luke to assist, so what could possibly go wrong.

It’s unusual for the balls to be placed like that, one tucked between the two pins, one right in front of the pin, one near the break-off shot and the other near the baulk.

The final shot of the match (as the doubles games got rearranged), Gabriel fired the ball into the pocket like a true professional. It’s far to say that he was surprised and delighted, with the video being widely shared across Norwich as we speak….

That’ll do 🙂

In a move that serves as a definitive warning against leaving the room during a committee meeting, I have somehow managed to get myself appointed as the captain of the Artichoke Hearts bar billiards team. I am still not entirely sure how the transition from “vaguely reliable middle-order player” to “fearless leader” occurred, but yet here we are.

It is quite a step for someone who honestly thought they had successfully navigated their way into a quiet retirement from the competitive green baize of bar billiards, indeed, I’ve written about that before. But it seems that the league has a way of pulling you back in just when you think you have escaped the pressure of a tricky final shot.

The fixtures have just landed with some promptness and the grace of a lead balloon, and they have not exactly eased me into the role. Our opening gambit is against one of the absolute titans of the division, the Black Stars, and, to add a layer of personal drama to the proceedings, our subsequent match is against the quite wonderful Serengeti led by Roy, who is perhaps the most gentlemanly person I’ve ever met. Having spent a couple of seasons playing for them, I now find myself in the awkward position of trying to outmanoeuvre my old teammates while pretending I don’t know all their tactical weaknesses. Although they know my many weaknesses, so all of this might not be useful.

Despite my own questionable leadership credentials, the Artichoke Hearts are actually really quite good by all accounts. I won’t go overboard here as we’re likely to come last in the league, so no point being overly optimistic. There is a genuine sense of fun that (generally) permeates this league, which is probably why I couldn’t stay away. The social side is of course inevitably compelling, especially with the news that the Red Lion in Coltishall has joined the league this year and we’re playing there in May. I am genuinely excited about the prospect of heading out there, but I don’t get out much.

Home games at the Artichoke are fairly straightforward affairs involving decent beer and a steady supply of Tayto crisps, which remain the undisputed king of the bar snack hierarchy I’ve recently decided, although I can be fickle with these things. It is going to be a long, unpredictable season, but at least the crisps and beer are likely to be good. What could possibly go wrong?

This is the final bar billiards table in the Norwich league that I haven’t played on, with the exception of the table out in South Walsham. It’s the table at the Rose and since Zak was planning to practice and Nick had a game from the singles competition at the pub, this felt the ideal time to try it.

Before Nick’s match, we had time for one game, and it transpired that neither of us had ever played at the table. He won, but not by many.

I did have a couple of victories in the evening and here’s Nick after beating his opponent 3-0. He now gets to play Oscar, who annoyingly beat me a few days ago…. Sub-optimal, I could have beaten Nick and I might have mentioned that to him 🙂

This was the second singles tournament game I’ve refereed in a week, I’m hoping that some of the talent will come to me via some form of osmosis.

Anyway, back to the table, it’s a robust arrangement and it’s quite fast off the back cushion. The pockets aren’t very forgiving, it requires some accuracy to get them in. It feels like a relatively low scoring table, I think it’s hard to build big breaks, but it’s nicely looked after. It’s the only table that’s £1 a play in the league, although I suspect the others will catch up at some point.

And, the Rose is a really lovely pub, a suitable range of cask and keg beers, friendly staff and it was also good to see my friend Emma over there, now back brewing Boudicca again.

I might be out of this year’s competition, but I felt the need to go and watch Zak play at the Cottage yesterday. And, it was against Mick, which knocked me out of last year’s tournament, but I no longer hold a grudge about that…..

After some masterful refereeing from me, which was mainly because that was the only person that was getting a seat, Zak managed to win 2-1 in a very close game. It was also a lot busier than this photo suggests, there was quite a crowd towards the end.

And, to no doubt entirely surprise and delight everyone, Pete has suggested some “Table Treks on Tour” expeditions around the country. And, this time, with more snack content because I feel that’s what the series was crying out for.

Incidentally, the refereeing was top notch. And thanks to Zak for driving me to the White Lion afterwards where I managed some more of my unique refereeing where I could be ruder without the confines of it being a proper tournament game.

It all came to a head on Saturday at 12:00 at the VR rooms in Norwich…. Oscar and I had both won two games, my first at the White Lion and then my second at the King’s Head. This surprised and delighted me since I’ve hardly played in four months, although, to be fair, I’m not sure I’m any better after playing more anyway as I play solely with muscle memory and pure delusion.

It was my first time in the VR rooms, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Here’s the table, which is on free play, but you just buy drinks from the bar instead. I very much liked the table, it was slower off the back than I expected which meant I fell short on a few shots, but it was a bit wider than the King’s Head table which I liked. The pegs are very delicate indeed though, they blow over easily.

I don’t think that Oscar will mind me saying, but he turned up looking dead to the world as if from some zombie movie and I was secretly very pleased about that as I hoped he’d fall over or similar to distract himself from the game. However, at heart, I know that Oscar is a master at performing even when feeling terrible, so I wasn’t very confident.

We had some VR action behind us, but in the excitement of our game, I mostly forgot about them as I was locked into my own tragedy. As an aside, we had no scorer, so we had to do the adding up ourselves which was challenging as Oscar kept scoring large breaks. The first two games were relatively close, but Oscar won them both, so that was the end of that for my amazing run in the competition. I also lost the third frame, but by more, but I had rather lost the killer instinct by then….. And, let’s face it, Oscar is a very good player.

Anyway, that’s that now, I’ll just have to watch the other games to see who wins in this fine competition. And, maybe I might even get to reach the hallowed quarter finals next year. But I might need to practice more and also hope that I don’t meet Oscar in the 2027 competition.

For anyone concerned about his well-being, I’m pleased to note that Oscar was in good shape again in the pub in the evening, but I ignored his comments about victory because it’s not about the winning, it’s about the taking part. Unless I win, then I upload videos and blog posts all over the place. And, I confess, if I’d won, half of Norwich wouldn’t be able to open a social media app without seeing a slow-motion montage of my genius.

And, also, lovely people at the VR rooms, I hope to be able to play some games there in the future, a really nice set-up.

And thanks to Pete for videoing the conclusion of the final game of this match…..

After the first round a few weeks ago, it was time for the second round of the Norwich bar billiards cup singles last night, with Oscar playing his game before it was time for my second round game. After three games, which were very well refereed I thought, Oscar was triumphant but there was a lot of surprising and delighting going on.

Then for my three games….. The first one went well for me, despite my struggling somewhat with this table as it’s narrower than the White Lion table. Quite a high scoring game, it’s positive to get the first game in.

The second game went to the final ball part of the proceedings, played differently in Norwich to some other areas. This one involves going off the side cushion into the 200 hole and I promptly missed it…. I didn’t get a second chance, so that was 1-1 on frames.

I slid behind by quite a margin on the third game and it looked all a bit forlorn. To cut a long story short, some fortune and a decision to play the second final ball concluding game quickly meant that I managed to win the final frame.

It was a really close game, so many thanks to Rufus, although it was all a bit tense for my liking, especially when there were about 12 people watching. I know that it’s not exactly the San Siro stadium with its 80,000 seats, but it felt a bit like that at times.

My third round game is against Oscar at the VR rooms….. Whatever happens now, I’ve got further than I expected. The results will go on https://www.norwichbarbilliards.co.uk/Singles at some point.

Today was the excitement of the first round of the Norwich Bar Billiards singles tournament. For anyone interested, the results will be at https://www.norwichbarbilliards.co.uk/Singles. Oscar calmed my nerves with some sensible beer selections and managed to miss all my great shots, but I didn’t say anything.

Thanks to Oli and Emma for their scoring assistance. This is an unusual cluster of balls all where I didn’t want them…. And I’m still surprised I went for a very difficult 200 shot, which went in, at a critical point in the game. As I said to Zak, I’m crediting him with teaching me how to be brave. I don’t think I’ll be being brave again for a while, I’ll go back to my 10s.

OK, I didn’t expect a 3-0 win, but I’ll take it….. My aim is to score 1,000 in each game and I was surprised and delighted to achieve that. Thanks to Katie for a great game and I am sort of looking forwards to the second round in late February.