Our third match in three weeks was a cup game against the Lionhearts from the White Lion pub. Nathan and I would never say this in public, but we’re the best two captains in the league and I ignored the “they seem to think they’re the Gallagher brothers of bar billiards” comments. We are considerably more professional than that, although there is admittedly some swagger, unnecessary rivalry and an outside possibility that one of us will announce a reunion tour before immediately cancelling it over creative differences.
The draw was conducted in a polite manner and I like their idea of having see-through name tags, I’m going to get Luke to do that next year. Ivan had reliably informed me that he would beat Oscar, so I was already looking forward to taking an early 1-0 lead. I admired his confidence and, against all available evidence, briefly shared it.
Anyway, we went into the second game 1-0 down. It would be unfair to be rude about Ivan here, as I have plenty of other opportunities for that, because he was level with Oscar for much of the game. Unfortunately, bar billiards matches are generally decided by the score at the end rather than the encouraging period somewhere in the middle. This victory also made Oscar unbearable for about fifteen minutes, they really need a responsible woman on that team to restore some discipline. But I didn’t say anything.
Then it was my turn and by now we were 3-0 down and that was very sub-optimal. I knew this was my opportunity to surprise and delight Nathan, so naturally I produced my highest score and best break of the season. Nathan might have been more impressed had I not been doing it against one of his own players, but these are minor details in the pursuit of sporting excellence.
It was a genuinely good game against Fraser, although I have to remain polite about him because he occasionally reads my electricity meter. There are rivalries in sport, but there are also practical considerations involving estimated bills. I’d better add Fraser doesn’t work for EDF, he just lives nearby to me.
Incidentally, Danish Pete (known by that as he’s Danish) scored the most points and he’s my favourite of the Lionhearts because he says nice things about this blog, demonstrating both excellent judgement and a willingness to overlook its declining editorial standards. He’s a published author and that discernment shows.
This also allows me to mention, entirely incidentally, that I recorded the second-highest score of the evening. I would not normally draw attention to my own achievements, so I shall leave that fact sitting quietly here in its own little paragraph.
Alex with the bar snacks. By this time, we had gone into the doubles 4-2 down, but we lost our first doubles games (again, we played the games in a different order to the score-sheet) and so we were knocked out of the cup. That took the pressure off Vaughan and I and we managed to get it to 5-3 and this confirms an important psychological principle that the Artichoke Hearts are at their most dangerous once there is absolutely nothing left to save. I was also distracted by Craig, the organiser of Norwich Beer Festival, heckling me from the rear of the room, but fortunately I was only distracted from eating and not from playing bar billiards. Nothing distracts me there.
The highlight of my evening. I ensured that I got pork scratchings for Nathan, although I think Lee got to most of them first. I was impressed with his speed on the food acquisition, he was certainly not far off being as fast as me. I’m pleased to say that I secured M&Ms so I was happy with the arrangement. I liked Lee’s claim he was just opening the packets to share, I use lines like that too whilst busily eating some from each pack.
I still have no idea why Nathan likes pork scratchings. They resemble fragments removed during emergency repairs to an old leather sofa, but I never say anything. Captaincy sometimes though involves politely looking away while someone eats something that appears to have been recovered from a builder’s skip.
I forgot to take many photos of the game, but here’s the doubles game with PJ, Nick, Fraser and Nathan in the photo. There’s also Kirsty and I think Luke’s arm. I didn’t want to miss anyone out there.
On the bright side, I didn’t have to go to the King’s Head as tradition dictates when we occasionally win. Well done to Pete, Vaughan, Danish Pete and Luke on their high scores, and me of course. I recognise Nathan’s handwriting there, we often forget to record those notable breaks, so thanks for his thoroughness.
It was a thoroughly enjoyable evening and many thanks to the Lionhearts for a close game and excellent company. They deserved their victory, although as one of the two greatest captains in the league I naturally reserve the right to attribute it partly to circumstances beyond my control. And well done to everyone on the Artichoke Hearts, it was a lot of fun and there were numerous close games.
We can now concentrate on the league, largely because the cup has made itself unavailable to us. I’ll watch some more Brian Clough videos before the next match, as the tactical benefits of simply shouting at everyone have yet to be fully explored.