Champions Cup winners and the only team to complete the entire tournament without losing a match.
Vase Winners
We Don’t Do Mushrooms
Recovered from defeat in their mini league to win both of their Vase matches and take the trophy.
Highest Team Score
2,010
We Don’t Do Mushrooms recorded the tournament’s highest score in their opening victory over About 60.
Highest Average Score
1,427
Proxy Music scored 4,280 points across three matches, giving them the tournament’s highest average score.
Highest Overall Total
5,470
Old Lions accumulated more points than any other team across their four matches.
Best Overall Points Ratio
2.27 to 1
Old Lions scored 5,470 points while conceding 2,410, producing the best overall points ratio in the tournament.
Biggest Winning Margin
1,540 points
Proxy Music defeated The Slags 1,870–330 in the mini league, the widest winning margin of the day.
Most Emphatic Points Ratio
39.25 to 1
Just Say No scored 1,570 against The Unnatural Disasters’ 40: the strongest winning ratio in a match where both teams scored.
Highest Combined Score
2,980
About 60 and We Don’t Do Mushrooms produced the highest scoring match, finishing 970–2,010.
Closest Match
60 points
On the Ball City edged past We Don’t Do Mushrooms 750–690 in the closest contest of the tournament.
Lowest Team Score
0
Young Lions recorded the tournament’s only score of zero in their mini league match against Decadent Chalk.
Biggest Turnaround
Just Say No
After losing 980–490 to Spanish Menace, they responded with a 1,570–40 victory over The Unnatural Disasters.
Best Mini League Performance
Proxy Music
Two wins, 3,410 points scored and only 610 conceded gave Proxy Music the strongest group-stage record.
Most Successful Lions
Old Lions
Four wins and a Champions Cup rather decisively settled the tournament’s intergenerational lion debate.
How the figures were calculated: Overall totals, averages and points ratios include both mini league and knockout matches. The strongest individual winning ratio excludes the 1,310–0 result because a ratio cannot be calculated when the losing score is zero.
And the highest individual breaks!
Highest Breaks
Second Place
690
Zak
Highest Break
730
Oscar
Third Place
680
Vaughan
Highest Break Leaderboard
Position
Player
Break
1
Oscar
730
2
Zak
690
3
Vaughan
680
4=
Danish
630
4=
Thogdin
630
4=
Broomie
630
4=
John
630
The 630 Club
Four players finished level with breaks of exactly 630:
Danish630
Thogdin630
Broomie630
John630
Break of the Tournament
730
Oscar produced the only break to pass 700.
Average Listed Break
660
The seven recorded leading breaks had a combined total of 4,620.
Top Three Range
50 points
Only 50 points separated Oscar, Zak and Vaughan at the top of the leaderboard.
Moored alongside the quay at Wells-next-the-Sea, the Albatros is rather more interesting than the average boat parked in the harbour. The Dutch North Sea clipper was built in 1899 at Capelle aan den IJssel, near Rotterdam, and spent much of its working life carrying cargo around northern Europe. Between 1990 and 1996 it became a regular visitor to Wells, bringing more than 100 cargoes of soya bean meal from the Continent. In September 1996 it sailed from Wells after delivering 100 tonnes from Rotterdam, marking the end of its career as a freight carrier and, remarkably, the final commercial voyage of a sail-driven cargo ship in Europe.
The Albatros later returned to Wells and acquired a rather gentler existence, becoming a floating bar, restaurant, music venue and accommodation, particularly known for Dutch pancakes and real ale. It left the town in 2020 for an extensive restoration at Maldon in Essex, finally returning to Wells in July 2023 after three years of work. As I know from Charters in Peterborough, there’s something rather exciting about having a real ale on a floating boat. For some years it was listed in the Good Beer Guide and was known for stocking a selection of beers from Woodfordes brewery.
Quite what’s happening now, I’m not sure. Jen offered to try and go and talk to the people on the boat, but Roy and I recoiled at that ridiculous level of social interaction so we meandered off quickly. It means this post ends without the benefit of investigative journalism, but with considerably less risk of having to introduce ourselves to strangers.
The next pub on our meanderings around Norfolk was the Globe in Wells-next-the-Sea which is one of a growing number operated by the Chestnut Group. It has been a licensed premises since around the 1830s and was a locally owned venue before Greene King acquired it in the late 1960s, but they sold it in around 2010 which is probably for the best.
In 1947, Graham Cawdron (who I think was the same landlord as Herbert Graham Cawdron) who was a former Flight Lieutenant in the RAF who had won the DFC announced that he planned changes to the venue. His family owned the pub and they proposed demolishing the original bar to give more space for the entrance, adding rooms to the rear and also adding a balcony to the first floor giving access to the billiards room and a lounge. As a side note, the landlord applied for a special licence to open until 23:30 on a Saturday evening to host the annual dinner dance of the Royal Air Forces Association. There doesn’t seem much decadence in the opening hours that were normally allowed if they had to get special permission to open until 23:30, the nightlife of Wells was evidently operating under fairly strict constitutional arrangements.
All nice and clear signage with details of some future events. There’s a front bar to the arrangement, with a restaurant area to the rear and there are also rooms available, priced at a level which suggested I would not be conducting further research.
The interior which all seemed welcoming and comfortable, with a sizeable beer garden outside. The venue was much busier than these images suggest, I took the opportunity to take these photos when customers had just left.
The bar area and there were three real ales, with two from Barsham. The venue is very well reviewed online and although the food prices were towards the higher end of the scale, the drinks prices were reasonable. The team members at the bar were friendly and served us promptly enough despite there being quite a queue when we arrived.
I went for the Eastern Gold from Barsham Brewery which had a fruity edge and was nicely rounded in terms of the flavour. It was also at the appropriate slightly chilled temperature, despite the extremely hot weather outside which I hardly mentioned, so this pleased me. And I also got some free tap water infused with cucumber or something adding an unexpected spa element to proceedings. I’m not sure that’s what actually happens at spas, but I’ve never been so I’m just guessing.
I wanted to take a photo of the cellar but there was a team member working in it when I walked by. Fortunately, Jen took a photo, so I’ve used that one as I rather like seeing open cellars.
I’d note at this stage that there are no Good Beer Guide pubs in the town, which feels a little sub-optimal, but I’d say that this one must have been a close contender. There was a friendly welcome, it had an upbeat atmosphere, the beer was well-kept and there was an air of style about it. All really rather lovely.
This was once the Eight Ringers pub in Wells which was a licensed premises between the late eighteenth century and 1971 when it finally closed. It was initially a free trade pub before becoming part of Bullards and then Watney Mann, but they didn’t feel that the venue was viable and it is now split up into flats.
It came up for sale in 1904 and it was advertised as being:
“A fully licensed public house with large yard, good stable and outbuildings, suitable for any trade”.
The landlord between 1905 and 1909 was Frederick Powell and he seems to have been something of a character. He was charged of being drunk in his own licensed premises and then using bad language to a police officer who was investigating the matter, with the fine for the bad language alone being 9 shillings including the costs.
The pub seems to have struggled with their landlords as the long-standing Eleanor Cross was at the premises for over thirty years and was found guilty of adding water to whiskey. The situation seems complex, she claims that the inspector made her open a bottle which she never tried to serve from and she claimed that was her own whiskey as “her heart was bad” but the court didn’t believe it.
The landlord between 1947 and 1961 was Frank Moore and then his wife managed the house between 1961 and 1966. She attracted the interest of the national newspapers in 1962 when her 40 year old cactus bloomed with nine buds. She was so excited that she moved it to the bar and customers could see the buds blooming in front of them. They then all died overnight, so that was the end of that excitement.
There’s a plaque on the building from a local history group, otherwise I would have known that this used to be a pub. As for the name, a traditional English ring of church bells can consist of eight bells, each with its own ringer, which presumably explains the Eight Ringers. There were periods in the pub’s early history when it was instead known as the Six Ringers, so goodness knows what happened to the other two. Perhaps they had been barred.
Shortly after we arrived in Wells I noticed this sculpture before we meandered to our first pub in the town. It transpired to be one of the more distinctive sights in Wells Harbour and it’s known as the Lifeboat Horse, a three-metre-high sculpture standing out on the sandbank opposite the harbour. It was created by Norfolk artist Rachael Long for the Wells Heritage Art Trail in 2018 and commemorates the working horses that once helped launch the town’s lifeboats.
The inspiration for this arrangement came from an old photograph shown to Long by Wells Harbour Master Robert Smith, depicting the lifeboat being hauled by five pairs of heavy horses. During the nineteenth century, the horses could be called upon to pull the 33-foot lifeboat around two and a half miles from the quay to Holkham Gap for launching. The horses weren’t kept solely in reserve for maritime emergencies either, as they normally earned their keep by hauling heavy cargo around the harbour.
The sculpture is made from steel bars and pieces of whisky barrel and is secured to the seabed with substantial metal pins, which seems sensible given that leaving a three-metre metal horse casually unsecured in the North Sea would introduce an unnecessary element of excitement. Its position also means that the appearance changes considerably with the tide. At low water the whole horse stands exposed on the sand, while as the tide rises its legs disappear and it starts to look as though it is standing, or perhaps wading, in the harbour. And fortunately for the increasingly demanding photographic requirements of this riveting blog, by the time we returned later the tide had come in.
I rather liked the whole changing relationship with the water, as it stops the sculpture simply becoming another static piece of public art. I photographed it at different stages of the tide and it looked quite different on both occasions and I hadn’t expected that. And as is visible in the photo, a seagull had also taken up position on its back. The horse wasn’t originally intended to become a permanent feature. It formed part of the 2018 Wells Heritage Art Trail, which included 17 works by 26 Norfolk artists, but it proved sufficiently popular that a campaign was launched to keep it. The local community subsequently raised the £15,000 needed to buy and reinstall the sculpture, with donations coming from businesses, residents and even local children so it returned to the harbour in May 2019.
It isn’t quite permanent in the literal sense, as the Lifeboat Horse is removed during the winter to protect it from the harsher weather and returned in spring. Moving it requires a boat with a crane so it all sounds like a bit of a hassle, although its secondary role as a £15,000 seagull perch should not be underestimated.
The next pub on my little day out in Norfolk with Roy and Jen was to the Bowling Green pub in Wells. I had dragged them both to St. Nicholas church in the town, but more about that rather lovely building in another post. Well, possibly. My queue of things to blog about is now expanding considerably faster than my ability to write any of them. At the present rate, the church should appear on the blog sometime before 2034.
The venue has a long history and has been a licensed premises since perhaps as early as the late eighteenth century, so it might be the oldest in the town that is still open. Norfolk Pubs notes that it was owned by the Dereham Brewery, then Steward & Patteson, Watney Mann, Brent Walker and then Pubmaster before it became a freehouse. Planning permission was granted in 1999 to turn the venue into two houses, but fortunately it survived as Wells already has houses and historic pubs are rather harder to manufacture.
I liked all the clear signage and this felt like a traditional pub with some events going on. There was something of a rustic feel, but it was carefully designed and there was also a separate dining area which all looked like someone had thought about rather than assembled together a heap of random furniture over thirty years or something. I like the mixture of high and lower seating and there was a garden area as well for those who like sitting with wasps and pretending this constitutes relaxation.
The interior with its stone floor and although this would have no doubt made a lovely house, it’s definitely better as a pub.
There were three real ales available and also some bottle conditioned beers from East Quay brewery.
I like the clarity of this as it isn’t always obvious where those going into a pub just for a drink are actually meant to sit. A sign saying ‘drinking table’ makes this process much easier and I like precision.
This is the Destiny from the ever reliable Mr Winter’s Brewery and it was clean tasting, hoppy and agreeable. This appears to be a rebrand of another Mr Winter’s beer which makes the process of putting it on Untappd rather more complex than I’d ideally like.
I liked this pub as it clearly served the local community whether they wanted food or drinks, with everything clean, well managed and organised. The venue is well reviewed online and seems a reliable option for food, with rooms also available here for those wanting to stay overnight. It has managed to broaden what it offers without losing the feeling that it is fundamentally still a proper pub, which is not always as straightforward as it might appear.
It’s only a few days left before the bar billiards tournament that I’m organising at the Artichoke pub on Saturday 22 August 2026. I say “organising”, but I really mean “delegating to everyone else” in my finest traditions. I have, however, successfully assembled 24 players, which means the tournament is now full for entrants and therefore demonstrates that I’ve done at least one thing. I think that there are players from nine different teams which is all rather lovely.
Although all of the playing places have gone, spectators are very welcome and I’d actively encourage anyone interested in bar billiards to come along. It’s intended to be a competitive tournament, but also a sociable afternoon and an opportunity for people who haven’t played before to see what the game is all about. Bar billiards is one of those sports that initially appears to consist of people standing around a wooden table drinking beer and occasionally poking things with sticks, before gradually revealing an alarming quantity of tactics, rules and emotional investment. I would add that anyone who stands around for too long might be given a little administrative task or signed up for the second Artichokes team next year.
The event will start at 14:30 and the draw is taking place just before for anyone who wants to come and watch it. Dylan from Articans is overseeing the draw, not that he’s been told this yet, but he likes surprises. He’ll also be managing the scores throughout the afternoon, which is another exciting development in his life that he is currently unaware of. I’m hoping he discovers all of this by reading the blog, which I think counts as a perfectly modern communications strategy.
The draw will determine the pairings and then we’ll work our way through the tournament during the afternoon. With 24 players involved there should be plenty of bar billiards being played, along with the traditional periods of intensive statistical analysis, tactical discussion and somebody asking when they’re playing next despite the schedule being immediately in front of them. I’m hoping I don’t hear “they’re just having a cigarette” or “I think they’re in the toilet” too often when a player is meant to be ready….
The early betting appears to have YouTube Pete and Badger as the most likely winners, although this is plainly incorrect because Luke and I are going to win. I’ve undertaken no statistical analysis to support that conclusion, but confidence has never needed evidence before and I don’t see why it should start now.
There are plenty of dangerous combinations elsewhere. Oscar will be bringing his decadent chalk to the tournament, an item of bar billiards equipment so extravagant that I’m surprised it doesn’t require its own security detail. I still don’t entirely understand how chalk became a luxury item, but bar billiards continues to reveal new economic sectors to me. And I just play with the pub cue and haven’t invested around £300 in some lightweight stick. Actually, with members of the Lionhearts team, there’s every possibility that by next year we’ll need equipment regulations and a salary cap.
Danish Pete is now playing and might be one of the finest players in the field if he’s not distracted and annoyed at something. His inclusion has though rather damaged my preferred narrative that Luke and I simply have to turn up and collect the trophy. Steady Roy from the Serengeti will be there, presumably maintaining exactly the same facial expression whether he’s 2,000 points ahead or has just knocked over every peg.
The Artichoke Hearts combination of PJ and Vaughan could also be difficult to overcome as they know the table well. Then there’s Dave Brewer, who I beat in the league this year, have I mentioned that? Playing with Phil, that means that we have rule experts should we need it. Although thanks to Luke for being the official tournament referee, a role he didn’t know he had until I discreetly popped it in the rules. Incidentally, for anyone who has somehow missed the previous seventeen references to me beating Dave this season, further reminders will be available throughout Saturday.
Then there’s the Sharp tribe from the White Lion, as well as some talent from the King’s Head, including some quite vocal talent. The Sharp tribe can’t be ruled out as they’re at the Artichoke table on Wednesday night, but fortunately I’ll be there to play some games in a little friendly just to ensure that they don’t get too much table time. I regard this not as interference with a rival team’s preparation, but as responsible tournament oversight.
YouTube Pete will be recording games during the afternoon, so we’ll hopefully have some footage of the tournament afterwards. There will also be a clearly designated non-recording area for anyone who doesn’t want to appear on camera. This is particularly important for those who might prefer not to have permanent video evidence of themselves eating 28 Flumps over the course of the afternoon. By “those”, I principally mean me. I’ve effectively created bar billiards VAR with a designated confectionery privacy zone and I’m quite proud of that. The videos should be a nice record of the event and, depending on the results, material that some competitors may subsequently demand is destroyed. Any footage of me losing comprehensively will, naturally, be subject to a rigorous editorial process before publication.
Articans and the Artichoke are sponsoring the event, many thanks to Julian the Old for providing the 50 pence coins for the games as well as some spot prizes throughout the day. The event is aiming to reach at least £50 for Big C, as well as offering prizes for the winners, runner-ups and some random players around the day. These are big prizes, the winners get £35 and the runner-ups get £20, so this is no provincial little league asking players to take part for exposure…. The random awards may reward sporting excellence or they might reward something considerably less impressive.
I have some bad news though, Ivan the Great won’t be appearing as the event filled quickly, but he’s off to a beer festival instead. This is fortunate as otherwise players might get annoyed as he shares his top tips throughout the day. I’ll miss him though. He will be a contender to win next year’s event….
And, there’s more! Luke has acquired, at great expense, some trophies for the event and I’ve seen them and they’re really rather lovely. They will be worth playing for and there’s something for the ‘worst’ team as well, because this is all about taking part and not just winning. Many thanks to Luke this and indeed planning the format of the games as my designated responsible adult.
As a final note, the plan is to run this event as a much larger affair next year so that we have an entry process that allows as many people to enter as possible. That will mean operating it across likely another couple of pubs and I have high hopes that Oscar might be a host at the White Lion if he’s not in a mood that he’s knocked out early on this weekend. Actually, the long-term vision appears to have escalated from ‘small doubles tournament’ to ‘multi-venue Norwich bar billiards infrastructure project’ remarkably quickly and I’m hoping that next year some teams from around the country might make it to the great city of Norwich. Mission creep and all that…..
And in the words of the league:
“It’s Meant To Be Fun!”
Although I’d add that I don’t want too much frivolity on Saturday and I will say in advance that I will call “timed game” if required, as that’s what Emma would want me to do. I’m hoping that things are finished, or near to completion, by 20:00 as if we’re still going at 02:00 then something has gone wrong. And if Saturday works, I’ll take full credit. If it doesn’t, this blog post contains ample documentary evidence that I delegated most of the important jobs. But I think it’ll all be very lovely.
The next venue on our list was the Edinburgh pub in Wells, which has been a licensed premises since the late eighteenth century. Originally known as the Fighting Cocks, it took the name of the Leicester Arms until 1887 when it was renamed by the Scottish landlord James Alexander Davidson as something he felt to be more agreeable. And that name has stuck since.
Apologies for the lack of real ale photo, but the landlord was standing right behind those pumps most of the time and I didn’t want to be too intrusive. Anyway, they had a choice of three real ales available.
The interior felt reassuringly traditional, with carpet, wood and the sort of layout that still unmistakably feels like a pub. It was all entirely agreeable. The far end of the pub is a restaurant, named Ollies, which seems to be sub-contracted out, so it’s a different operation but still firmly in the same building. That meant this end of the pub is for drinkers and I liked the clarity of the arrangement.
And I liked the nod towards heritage, a bit of local history is good for the soul. Less spiritually nourishing, although potentially more immediately useful, was the bar snack range listed nearby to tempt those of weaker resolve.
I rather like a wheat beer and I went for the Blue Moon, although it’s the first time in a long while that it hasn’t been served with a slice of orange. I managed to contain my disappointment with considerable dignity. Roy went for a Woodforde’s Wherry and I understand that it was well kept and at the appropriate temperature and all that.
I liked this venue and it had a feel of being a proper pub for locals whilst still being welcoming to everyone. It’s a little walk from the quay, but I think it’s worth the little meander.
I’ve decided to write about this pub as Roy did get a drink here, but I think it’s fair to say that this venue isn’t really targeted at me. That’s not necessarily a criticism in itself, as pubs have to appeal to rather more people than just me, inconvenient though that may be for them.
There are decent views over the quay and the venue has a prominent location in the town. The venue has a long history, it has been a licensed premises since the middle of the eighteenth century and in more recent times it became part of the Bullards, then Watney Mann, then Pubmaster and then Punch Pubs estate. The listed building notes mention:
“Early C18, much modernised. Brick and pantiled. Front, pebbled and plastered. 2 storey and attics. 3 casement dormers. Eaves cornice. 2 sash windows with glazing bars remain at 1st floor, altered centre window with casement. Rusticated quoins. Dutch gable. Interior: oak open stair well said to be included.”
So it seems much has been lost internally, likely a long time ago, and it did feel a little soulless inside.
Jen had disappeared at some point and returned with what can only reasonably be described as an enormous ice cream from somewhere nearby. She then stood peering through the pub window while eating it. Roy and I decided that asking questions would probably only encourage matters, so we left her to it and didn’t say anything.
I was marginally amused that the menus on the tables advertise these bar snacks. A customer tried to order them and was told in quite a direct manner:
“It’s Sunday, you can’t order bar snacks”
I’m afraid I’m with the customer, it’s a little sub-optimal to be dismissive of someone trying to order food as it doesn’t say anything that they can’t be ordered on a Sunday.
The beer range was fairly generic and there wasn’t anything that particularly excited and delighted me, so I decided against ordering a drink myself. It does feel a shame that there’s no attempt at localisation here at all, even the real ale that they didn’t have is a generic national offering. CAMRA notes that real ale is often unavailable and it’s only ever Timothy Taylor’s Landlord when it is available. It’s also card only, which I have no view on, but I’d say that’s quite brave for a venue of this size.
Ultimately, it’s positive that the pub remains open in such a prominent location and is contributing to the life of the town. It was busy enough to suggest that plenty of people appreciate what it offers, which is considerably more important to its future than whether I personally felt an overwhelming urge to move in. Roy got his drink, Jen had acquired an ice cream of almost architectural proportions from somewhere and I had obtained another blog post, so everyone emerged from the experience with something.