I had a great idea a few weeks ago to hold a bar billiards doubles’ competition and on Saturday 22 August, it all came about. 24 players across 12 teams, with players from several teams in the league all coming together in the Artichoke. The aim was to test whether an event like this might work, ready for it to be upgraded in 2027. Here I am with Dylan at the start of the event ready to start the draw.
For anyone interested, I have separate pages with the full results and another with some additional facts and figures. They are obviously spoilers, so don’t start there if you don’t want to know who won. Or just go straight there if you don’t want to read my piffle.
There’s Luke, my supportive vice-captain of the Artichoke Hearts, along with Phil who was busy drinking, and Dave who was celebrating his 26th birthday. Phil and Dave are very senior figures in Norwich bar billiards and so their presence at the draw gave it an air of professionalism. The drinking helped to preserve the traditional character of the sport and this is quite a high-impact sport as it’s an all day affair and not something short and over quickly such as squash.
With a beer to steady my nerves, we were off! Note Luke’s new mirror, which ensured that proceedings could now be viewed from several confusing angles.
The players began to assemble and I was delighted that everyone turned up. This boded well for the day and spared me from having to drag unsuspecting customers into the competition to make up the numbers.
My breakfast of champions. Well, late lunch of champions.
I haven’t attempted to document every game, partly because I didn’t take enough photographs and partly because I can’t remember everything that happened. This is one of the hazards of holding a sporting competition in a pub.
Here’s John from On the Ball City attempting a brave shot. In bar billiards, ‘brave’ can occasionally be a polite substitute for several other adjectives.
Oscar from the White Lions with some of his decadent chalk.
Thank you to the Artichoke for providing free crisps. They were much appreciated and represented an important contribution to athlete welfare.
I was in a team with Luke and we were ready to go! Our name was Just Say No, which was because PJ and Vaughan from the Artichoke Hearts had chosen the rather clever name of We Don’t Do Mushrooms.
My favourite referee of the day as I was given a Flump (every referee could give any player a Flump, many thanks to the Artichoke for that). This was a fiercely contested honour, although the candidates were not informed that judging was taking place. As an aside, Luke and I were delighted to top our group, but we got knocked out in the semi-finals but this was much better than we thought we’d achieve. Next year we will be contenders, I just know it.
Pete, ready for action, with two of his Lionhearts teammates watching closely. Whether they were offering moral support or checking that he knew the rules is unclear.
I needed another snack. Tournament administration consumes an astonishing number of calories, especially if you repeatedly walk between the table and the bar.
There’s PJ from the Artichoke Hearts and I’m pleased to say that Luke was an impartial referee.
Ian from Decadent Chalk, with his teammate Oscar watching on.
Timed game.
And before we knew it, it was time for the final.
And then it was time for the awards and thanks to Luke for donating these trophies.
Chip won the spot prize for being the most elegantly presented.
Dave won the prize for the worst shot of the day. Now, I didn’t have any complaints about that shot as it was against Luke and I, when he wiped out the 200 mushroom and lost all of his team’s score. There are mistakes and then there are mistakes that earn trophies, so well done Dave.
We were going to give an award for the team that won by the most points in a game. Unfortunately, it transpired that it was our team, so Luke and I didn’t want it to look fixed, so Dave won an award for the worst team performance in a game as well as the worst individual performance. What a surprise and delight for your birthday!
Worthy winners of the spot prizes!
There was a special prize for the team who came last in the round robin of 12 games and that honour went to the Young Lions, proving that youth is no guarantee of success and experience is no guarantee of anything either.
Mick and Broomie are both very classy players and they were delighted with their trophy. Well, Mick was. Broomie appears to have been processing the achievement in his own way.
The list of high scores is on the facts and figures page. Oscar claimed the prize with a break of 730, taking the final fragment of positivity away from Zak, who had been knocked out early but had otherwise secured the highest break with 690. Competitive sport can be cruel. Fortunately, Oscar seemed able to live with that quite easily.
I was very proud of PJ and Vaughan from the Artichoke Hearts who won the Vase, very impressive!
Next were the runners-up of the champion’s league, namely John and Charlotte who surprised and delighted throughout the day. Charlotte’s first shot in her opening game did not go entirely according to plan, but everything after that was quite splendid. This is known in sport as peaking at the correct time, or possibly just recovering quickly.
And the champions! Sharpie and David from the Old Lions who were magnificent all day.
We raised £90 for the Big C, thanks for the entry fees from everyone as well as Dave Brewer, Sharpie and David who put extra money back in from their winnings. The feedback was really positive and I think it was a great relaunch event for the doubles’ competition. Next year it’ll likely be three times the size, held across three pubs and have more excitement, drama and beer. We’ll post it on national bar billiards forums to maybe get some national, or even international, talent along.
It was a delight to organise this because of how supportive everyone was, big thanks to Luke, Articans and the Artichoke, I’m looking forwards to next year already!