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Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue – Day Four

The Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue was first published at the end of the eighteenth century, and given that the Coronavirus crisis is giving too much time to read books, I thought I’d pick a daily word from it until I got bored…..

Apple-Pye Bed

This is of course an expression still in use today, the practice of doubling up sheets so that someone can’t get into bed. The dictionary notes that “it’s a common trick played by frolicsome country lasses on their sweethearts, male relations or visitors”.

I was also intrigued at the spelling of the word pye, I thought that had gone out of use earlier than it had, it was still persisting in the nineteenth century given the above graph. For those fascinated by the evolution of language, there are two distinct possibilities of how this term came about. Some thing that it’s from an apple pie turnover, where the pastry is folded over. Others say it’s from the French nappe pliee, which is a folded sheet.

March 22, 2020
London – Ibis Budget London City Airport

I stayed at this hotel near to London City airport following my flight back with British Airways from Florence. For a time it looked like my flight would be cancelled, or at best, it would have arrived too late to land at London City and so would have been diverted to Southend Airport. I sent the hotel an e-mail asking if I could check-in late and they responded quickly saying that they’d do the check-in there and then on-line, so I could just pick up my keycard which they had put under the desk for the night porter. All very professional.

I got there in good time in the end, thanks to British Airways, and the receptionist was the friendly and helpful staff member who had sent the e-mail to me. This is a relatively cheap hotel, but the welcome seemed authentic and I was pleased with the bargain price of £33 including breakfast. It’s only an eleven-minute walk from London City Airport, so convenient for these late arriving flights.

The room was clean and to brand standard, perfectly sufficient for a one-night stay.

I went down to breakfast and I was the only one there, so at least it was peaceful. There were cereals, pastries, yoghurts and a selection of meats. This was sufficient before my train journey back to Norwich, with the orange juice and coffee being helpful as well, particularly the coffee for that little energy burst. When I checked-out at around 09:00 the breakfast area had around thirty people in, so it was either a coach party or perhaps a flight load of passengers who were on one of the cancelled flights from the previous day from London City airport. I imagine that the breakfast experience for them wasn’t quite as relaxed as mine was.

Anyway, I thought I’d have a little look at TripAdvisor to see what people thought about this 81-room hotel and the reviews are quite reasonable. I mentioned above that I walked this in eleven minutes, but some reviews complained it was a long walk, people managed to take 15, 20 and 35 minutes. I don’t know what the one taking 35 minutes was doing.

One person didn’t like their toilet and must have been told to use the one on the ground floor, which isn’t ideal, although certainly isn’t illegal. I don’t like the comparison with easyHotel, which is one of the few hotel chains that I hold in entire contempt. Which might be unfair since I’ve never stayed with them….

“Im sure prisoner’s get better service better breakfast. Rooms more then basic think easyhotel – class customer service. First room toilet didnt work fully booked normaly by law a hotel would have to reacomerdate u somewhere else at there cost. Not here so no toilet facility apart from going down three floors in lift.”

Another guest was pleased:

“One member of staff in particular was aggressive and combative”.

I never manage to find aggressive staff in hotels (well, bar that one in Los Angeles a few years ago, which I must write about at some point), but it’d certainly liven the check-in experience up.

“In my 36 years alive on this earth, this hotel has to be in the top 3 worst stays ever, in fact i would have rather have slept in my car and woke up and jumped in the Thames had i known it was that bad.”

Hmmm, sounds like they didn’t find this their perfect stay….

Another guest complained that the place was “full of builders” and there are lots of problems with noise, which I can imagine must be a problem at weekends. Having lived near to this hotel a few years ago, the area isn’t the most salubrious, but I thought that the staff did well to manage everything. To be honest, I was just pleased to be able to get back to London before the curfew at City Airport and get to the hotel.

March 21, 2020
Chesterfield – Church of St Mary and All Saints (The Crooked Spire)

For reasons I haven’t yet worked out, the cover image on these blog pages is automatically cropped, but I’m dealing with that.

For this post, it kind of makes sense to have the whole photo, so here’s the church including its twisted spire. There’s a local poem about this church which is:

“Whichever way you turn your eye,

It always seems to be awry.

Pray can you tell the reason why?

The only reason known of weight,

Is that the thing was never straight”.

The church is also known as the Crooked Spire church, for reasons which are self-evident. The problem occurred when the spire was being built as there was a shortage of trained men due to the Black Death, and a mistake was made by using unseasoned wood and also too much lead. The spire twisted over the centuries, which isn’t entirely uncommon in churches from this period, and it was nearly taken down in the early nineteenth century. Wiser heads prevailed and the church is today one of the most infamous in the area because of its quirky spire.

There also can’t be many football teams who have their nickname derived from the local church, but Chesterfield FC do, they are often called the Spireites. They were offering tours of the church tower until relatively recently, but it has been decided that it is currently unsafe to do so.

I don’t like grave stones being reused in this manner, they’re losing their relevance like this and slowly being destroyed. This is inside the church’s porch.

Looking towards the altar of the thirteenth century medieval church, which was comprehensively restored (or mauled about, depending on your view of Victorian architects) by George Gilbert Scott in 1843.

Looking back towards the west end of the church which mostly dates to the period of Henry VII, they’ve built a shop area at the back (the shop is recent, that wasn’t a Tudor installation….).

The intricately carved pulpit dates back to 1620. A large fire in the church started near to this pulpit in 1961, but although this fine wooden structure survived, the church’s grand old Snetzler organ was destroyed.

The Foljambe family tombs in the Lady Chapel.

The stained glass in St. Catherine’s Chapel.

March 21, 2020
Chesterfield – Ibis Chesterfield Centre

Another one of my bookings from the Accor Black Friday sale in December, this was my stay in Chesterfield for three days in mid-March 2020.

This is another Ibis which is struggling, indeed quite badly, on TripAdvisor and is rated as one of the worst hotels in the town. My room was sufficiently clean though, although the whole hotel is clearly in need of some modernisation and renovation.

I had three days to enjoy this beautiful view. Being slightly abnormal, I do like the background noise of traffic though, so all is well. Although, on this point, some bloody idiot in the planning department has allowed this hotel to be built without a pedestrian crossing to the town centre, which is a three-minute walk away. This means that guests of the hotel have to try and cross a busy road and are reliant on cars slowing down to let them across. I can’t recall in all the hotels that I’ve visited in the UK such a dangerous situation and is perhaps a reminder to town planners that pedestrians do need to cross roads….

A well stocked drinks tray, with the addition of chocolates being unusual.

These were the sugars provided, note the Accor branding…..

There was a welcome gift of bottled water, a nice little touch, a choice between still or sparkling.

The drinks voucher for the welcome drink.

The selection of drinks was, as usual, weak, although I can tolerate Boddingtons as a last resort and especially when it’s free. The pint was fuller than this when served, but I drank some so I didn’t spill it when walking to the table.

The bar and restaurant area, which is also used for breakfast. I don’t like the pool table there, this seems to be a concept rolled out by Accor to make the public areas feel more accessible. In the case of this hotel, the brand needs to sort out the restaurant and bar options if they want this area to be better used. There was a menu of what sounded like uninspiring microwave based meals, it didn’t sound entirely appealing and I’m not sure why Accor persist with this. I noted the review:

“When staff asked about my meal, I said it was awful. She apologised and wished me a good evening! Not sure why she bothered to ask.”

Which amused me when picturing the scene in my mind. Perhaps I need to get out more. Another person seemed pleased with their experience:

“The food in the “restaurant” was disgusting.the chicken fillet burger came with half cooked, greasy chips, over cooked chicken smothered in horrible greasy cheese, and a stale bun, no salad or garnish. probably the worst meal I have ever tried to eat in my entire life. I would rather kill myself than spend another night in this s******e”.

The lift in the hotel also slightly scared me when I used it, which was rarely as I prefer to use the stairs. Guests excitedly get into the lift to go to their floor and press the button and are seamlessly taken up in an elegant and smooth journey. Well, that’s the theory. This lift clunks about, seems to think about what it’s going to do, then judders up, keeps the door shut, jolts sharply and then opens the door to disgorge the slightly confused occupants.

I was again moderately amused at the review on TripAdvisor:

“Partner got stuck in lift for over ten minutes, staff weren’t bothered.”

I’ve been picturing this scene with some amusement, although I’m sure it wasn’t funny at the time. I also liked the review of the angry guest who was too hot, so the hotel gave him a fan and then one of the blades fell off.

This review also moderately surprised me:

“Stayed one night after a friends funeral in Chesterfield, the room at £69 was over priced plus there using duvets on the bed which the wife wasn’t happy with. And there wasn’t a spoon with the team making facilities which was probably down to the cleaning staff.”

I suspect the hotel was equally surprised that someone left a 1/5 review because of a missing tea-spoon and that there was a duvet. They replied:

“I apologise if the housekeeping staff accidentally failed to leave a teaspoon in your room, however, this could have been corrected immediately if reported. With regards to the room having a duvet on the bed, this is the generally the case in most modern hotels.”

The cold options at breakfast.

The hot options and I very much approve of the quality of the sausages and bacon, which I perhaps over-indulged in. There was the provision of disposable cups for those wanting to take their hot drinks away, with some interesting teas also available for guests. The quality of the breakfast was fine, the staff were also pro-active in ensuring that everything was kept topped up. I can’t say that a large number of guests opted for breakfast though, I suspect the nearby Wetherspoons and other outlets might have tempted some away.

Overall, since this cost around £30 per night including breakfast, it’s hard to complain too much about the hotel. So I won’t, especially as the staff were all friendly and the house-keeping staff were efficient and restocked everything. It feels slightly dated, but I liked the hotel and I’d stay here again if I fancy coming back to Chesterfield to look at their wonky church.

March 21, 2020
Chesterfield – Chesterfield Library

The priority for me when visiting a new town or city is to visit their Good Beer Guide pubs, check the quality of the Greggs (which rarely disappoints) and then just have a little meander into their library. You can tell a lot about a town or city by the state of its library…..

And this is a rather lovely library, above is the local history section which had what I’d consider to be an above average selection of books about the area. The library was also peaceful, which is what I think is essential, although many visitors don’t with their ringing phones, shouting and playing music. Chesterfield wasn’t too bad in this regard and the atmosphere was clean and comfortable.

I visited the library twice, as once is never enough for buildings such as this, with the second visit having the additional excitement of six police officers rushing in to arrest someone. I initially hoped that they were arresting someone who had been excessively loud in a library, which I consider to be a capital crime, but I don’t think that was the purpose of the police’s visit on this occasion.

The building is spacious and feels modern, although it dates back to the mid 1980s. Before then, the library was located in part of what is now Chesterfield Museum and Art Gallery, with the museum keeping a book trolley as a little memento of that time.

March 21, 2020
Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue – Day Three

The Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue was first published at the end of the eighteenth century, and given that the Coronavirus crisis is giving too much time to read books, I thought I’d pick a daily word from it until I got bored…..

Anabaptist

The traditional meaning of this word is to describe the religious movement that believes baptism is only relevant and meaningful if it’s done by free choice. So being baptised as a baby wouldn’t count, as it wouldn’t be a conscious decision of behalf of the child.

Anyway, that’s not the slang meaning, which is “a pickpocket caught in the fact, and punished with the discipline of the pump or horse-pond” according to the dictionary. This ‘caught in the fact’ is interesting, not a phrase I’ve heard before, but it seems to be a common nineteenth century alternative to ‘caught in the act’. The link is that if a criminal is ducked into water for his crime that this is like a new baptism, hence the use of the word anabaptist.

I’m not sure how common the usage of this word was, nearly every mention on-line is from the dictionary itself, with no obvious usage in earlier newspapers. Given that we don’t tend to punish criminals by chucking them in water any more, I can’t see this being a word brought back into usage.

March 21, 2020
Chesterfield – North Midland House

This building, located just to the front of Chesterfield railway station, doesn’t look overly exciting in its slightly isolated landscape, but it’s noted as being the only surviving building from the town’s original 1840 station complex.

Here’s the sign on the front of the building, designed by Francis Thompson. There’s just one little problem, although the building is of a similar design to the first railway station, it might not relate to the station complex itself according to some writers. Which does leave the question of why exactly it was built, something which I can’t work out the answer to and which, like many things, there appear to be numerous answers to.

A side view of the building, which fronts onto Corporation Street, and once sat at the end of the freight lines which are no longer there having been replaced by the station’s car park. Looking at old maps, the building seemed to stretch for longer, so something to the side of the current structure has been demolished at some point.

March 20, 2020
Sheffield – Woodthorpe Grange Milk Vending Machine

I’ve never seen a milk vending machine, but it seems a good idea. This one was installed at the platform of Sheffield railway station in 2016 by the Woodthorpe Grange Farm. Unfortunately, when I was there in March 2020 the machine was turned off and there was nothing inside, so it’s either just not been restocked or it was a failed project and no-one has removed the machine yet. I hope it’s the former, it’s a handy way for people to get milk on their way home and it supported the efforts of a local farm.

March 20, 2020
York – Brewdog

I’m writing this shortly after the Prime Minister’s announcement that all pubs, bars and restaurants should close from tonight. It was a week ago today that I was in Brewdog in York, feels much longer given how much has changed with the virus situation. Anyway, it’ll all blow over soon hopefully.

I hadn’t realised that there was a Brewdog in York, it was only walking by that I happened to notice it, a reminder that I need to look at their list of UK pubs more often. Well, after this virus has finished faffing about with the British pub scene anyway.

The staff member was friendly and helpful, something that the chain tends to get right. Not the most vibrant of atmospheres, since there was only one other customer on a Friday afternoon, but I didn’t require a nightclub feel, so all was well.

I opted for the Velvet Merkin by Firestone Brewing, all the way from California. It’s not cheap, at just over £10 per pint, but this isn’t a drink that needs to be purchased in such a large measure. It felt like its 8.5%, with this being the barrel aged version of the brewery’s Velvet Merlin beer. The beer was marvellous, rich in initial flavour and there were afternotes of chocolate, vanilla and coffee. A multi-layered drink and very decadent, an excellent guest choice from Brewdog.

The packed bar….. Everything felt welcoming about the location though, no loud music, the temperature was appropriate and the toilets were clean and fully stocked, something particularly important at the time.

There are a few different sections to this Brewdog, this is the seating area at the rear. It makes me feel rather quite sad to know that for several weeks this bar, and tens of thousands of others, will be closed.

Anyway, the pub is well reviewed on-line, but I felt the need to have a little look at the grumpy reviews on TripAdvisor. This is one of the 1/5 reviews, they didn’t like what I would call the on trend decor:

“The worst part though is the venue itself. It’s like walking into a building site. What a total mess it looks. Maybe they are trying to be trendy I don’t know but it’s a right tip. Rough walls, filthy floor, cables and tat hanging from the roof. The bar is made of outdoor road paving slabs that looked like they hadn’t had a wipe down in days. The front of the bar is just rough old pallets with bloody great splinters sticking out.”

And another unhappy customer who didn’t like the design:

“The decor is a dump.. think it’s meant to be trendy, but it’s still a dump… and beer at up to £12.50 a bottle… mmmm don’t think I will bother again..”

On a matter of principle, a really innovative craft beer bar is inevitably going to have bottles at over £10, such as the cost of importation.

“Shame. I loath decorating and DIY so why would I feel relaxed in a placed that intentionally gives itself the ambience of a renovation project?”

And another one, the bar seems to get more complaints about its decor than anything else.

I imagine there’s quite a student feel to this bar on evenings throughout the year, it’s on the infamous Micklegate bar crawl and it’s all suitably on-trend. I liked this Brewdog though, and the staff member remembered what I’d ordered and asked if I’d enjoyed it. Now, I accept that this wasn’t a huge feat of memory given the number of customers, but it’s still a nice touch.

March 20, 2020
York – Ibis York Centre

I booked this hotel as part of the Black Friday offer from Accor, all the way back in December. It was the last of the 50 or so room nights that I’d booked in this offer across January, February and March, all fortunately taken before the virus has limited my travel somewhat.

The Ibis York Centre isn’t in the heart of York, but it’s a short walk to the railway station and was convenient enough for me. It’s rated badly, TripAdvisor put it at 46th out of 47 hotels in York, so there’s clearly some work to do.

This was the room that I was given, although it transpired that the lock didn’t work and so I couldn’t lock the room. Two staff members came to resolve it before the maintenance man was called, although it transpired that he had gone home. I was given another room promptly enough though, it was all handled well. The room was basic, no welcome amenity, but it was all clean and comfortable. Reading some reviews of the hotel, the door locks do seem to be a problem, and some guests can only resolve that by slamming the doors, which might be their only option, but still disturbing for others.

The beer selection was very weak, although that’s not surprising for a hotel bar which isn’t even in the very centre of a city. I asked for a Bud, to which the staff member said they didn’t have any. I could see the bottle, so I tried again and thought he’d misheard me, he then said they don’t sell Bud. I asked for a Budweiser, and got my Bud. Although the barman decided that he wouldn’t offer me a glass with my exciting bottle of Bud.

The breakfast was fine, to the side there was a hot selection of bacon, sausages and hash browns, with cereals, muffins and other standard Ibis fare in the central section. It took the staff some time to replenish empty items, but that was more down to how busy they were than any lack of effort. My breakfast came included with the room price, otherwise I’d have probably passed over it and walked into York to get something a bit more exciting.

The hotel has a newer wing to it, which is badly built and gives limited sound protection between floors, so Ibis are always going to have problems here. I suspect they’d probably be better off giving up with this building as I can’t see that they’ll ever shift off near bottom spot with the noise problems in the hotel, although having written that, I didn’t personally get too disturbed.

If they are committed to the building, it does need a modernisation of the rooms as well, they’re feeling a bit battered and the bathrooms certainly need some attention to bring them up the standard of Ibis hotels, which frankly isn’t that high a bar to reach. The manager responded in one review written by a disgruntled guest that the hotel is formed of three separate historic buildings, but that a modernisation programme is being considered.

The staffing in the hotel was generally pretty good, although I wonder whether the hotel management should just leave Accor and run this as an independent budget hotel, or switch to being an Ibis Budget. The hotel was around £40 including breakfast, which I thought was perfectly acceptable, although usually the hotel is more expensive then this.

March 20, 2020