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Aaah, love locks, the rusty eyesore that plague bridges across the world. I feel sorry for the city workers that have to deal with this, trying to remove the things in some forlorn game of tetris, whilst some disgruntled pigeon looks on bemused. It must be lovely for a romantic couple to return ten years later to discover their lock is buried under a mound of rust, but they have memories of putting it there whilst fumbling with a padlock and a sharpie. As it might be guessed, I don’t think these things do much for bridge aesthetics. But I’m over 24 now, I’m allowed to be old and negative about such things, whether they’re the representation of a love story or a fleeting moment of unbridled passion.

I wasn’t quite in the mood for pierogi filled with random ingredients and served with a dish of lard, so I thought that I’d go for something more Asian based. Located on the riverside, the restaurant was well reviewed. Not so well reviewed that influencers would be holding their phones aloft like votive candles with the arrangement, but a solid and reliable option. The welcome was polite, although I did that thing I do when a staff member says “sit anywhere you like” and I then ask if I can sit at what looks like the best table with the most interesting view. She said I could, probably thinking she’d just covered that by saying that I could sit anywhere.

I sat by the window realising I couldn’t see much through the shrubbery, but it was a clean and comfortable restaurant.

I had some beer I’d never heard of because, well, I’ve got to complete Untappd haven’t I? There’s a bit of Inbetweeners style banter with Jay saying “I’ve completed Untappd, I’ve got the around the world badge”, but there we go. This is the chicken kai phad, which had a sauce of some richness and the cashew nuts added some texture. It came with lychees which I consider to be the oddest fruit, the texture doesn’t seem to quite fit, but it did add some extra flavour. I didn’t go for a noodle dish as I didn’t want to splatter sauce on me or the surrounding furniture, I can do without tangled up food. Anyway, I’m digressing once again, I liked the whole ambience and that I had a candle lit just for me.

I had a look on TripAdvisor for reviews of the restaurant. Once sifting through a couple of reviews noting that this was a hidden gem that someone has been searching for all their life, there’s some occasional and deliberate negativity such as:

“We sat in a table with 2 other customers. After we finished eating, we waited for 20minutes for the waiter to come serve us and get our dirty plates from us. While we waited, the other two customers had their dirty plates taken, taken dessert order and get their desserts while we still had our dirty plates in front of us. The waiter never came to us and finally we waived to her. The waiter was the same for us and the customers next to us. In addition, the food was mediocre and there were ants in the dining table.”

They took a photo of the solitary ant as well, but not the table next to them that they were so jealous of. Does this really warrant a one star review? The notification from TripAdvisor would have pinged on the manager’s phone, with them hoping it was another positive. And they discover that someone has complained about a single ant, although perhaps they were really just angry that another table was served a bit quicker.

Or the 1 out of 5 noting:

“Some kind of fusion between Poland and Thailand.”

I can’t imagine how that could have possibly happened with a Thai restaurant in Poland.

“Over the last decade, Thai food has been one of the core measures I use to evaluate the quality of life of every city I visit. As an itinerant cybersecurity professional, one often finds oneself in really interesting places across the globe.”

I’m saying nothing. It all seemed decent to me and the food looked well presented, so I’m pleased it makes the photo look good.

As I keep coming back to the same place, I’m starting to run out of decent restaurants in Gdansk that I want to visit, although I can think of worse problems to have in life. Woosabi is a small Polish chain of Asian cuisine restaurants and they have a rather smart looking place in Gdansk. I, maintaining my continental approach, decided to sit outside and was pleased that there were no wasp issues on this occasion. The service was polite and efficient, with an English menu being available. I was moderately amused when two customers who were seated in front of me started to have a conversation with someone they knew on the street. This involved a lot of shouting across another table who looked slightly unengaged by this whole arrangement. That was about as exciting as the entertainment got, but maybe there’s more drama in an evening.

There’s a cheap lunch menu available with meals at around £6, which seemed reasonable. It’s a Red Thai curry which was noted on the menu as being slightly spiced, and this was as it was delivered, with minimum spice. The chicken seemed to have been put in at the last moment so it hadn’t picked up much flavour from the curry, but nonetheless it was filling and keenly priced so was a suitable lunchtime option. Annoyingly, I forgot to check the beer into Untappd and that’s required some investigation to remember what it was. I have now, of course, corrected the beer omission on Untappd and I will try and avoid forgetting in future. I’m not sure what was on my mind, probably worrying about wasps or something. Anyway, the beer was Holba from the Czech Republic, a Pilsner that isn’t troubling the high score table on Untappd.

The whole arrangement did feel like it was produced by a chain, the decor was expensive, the menus were a little too professional and the food seemed pile it high and sell it cheap (or sell it expensive in the evening), but there is always a place for formulaic. Other than in craft beer, it is there that I demand small batch high quality products….. I feel I’m digressing though, this was a pleasant and relaxed lunchtime meal in the heart of Gdansk.

Słony Spichlerz is an on-trend food outlet, although I’ve only eaten at the pizza outlet here before (Czerwony Piec). Sexy Bull is the burger option at the food court, which feels modern, clean and well managed. I’ve excelled myself with the photography as ever, but taking a photo with the signage of Sexy Bull not really visible. My defence is that at the point when I took the photo, I hadn’t decided where to go out of the Smörgåsbord of options.

The staff member spoke English (it was ever thus…..) which was handy and so the ordering process was quick and efficient. The beer selection was limited to just Corona, but I thought I’d just roll with it, I’ve had worse drinks and the slice of lime always helps. The burger was well presented, although could have been just a little hotter, but it was cooked through sufficiently and it had a bit of spice to it. It also looked impressive amidst all the lettuce shrubbery, with the chips being firm on the exterior and fluffy on the interior. It was all rather pleasant, I had a view of the Motława River and I was enjoying being back in God’s own country that is Poland.

I arrived at this hotel, which is a three minute walk from the airport terminal, at 01:04 and that’s why I decided not to find a hotel in the city centre as it didn’t seem worth the effort. The photo, some detectives amongst my two loyal blog readers might realise, was taken in the morning. I was pleased that the check-in procedure was immediate and efficient, although airport hotels are no doubt used to some odd arrival and departure times.

It was basic, but it was cheap and clean, which are always attributes that I’m keen on. It was a good night’s sleep with no internal or external noise disturbance, so that’s something of a result. It probably could have done with a couple more plug sockets, but customers needing to charge about eight devices is something of a new requirement. It’s generally well reviewed, although there have been a few bed bug complaints. As usual, I dismantled the sheet arrangement to check for this situation, but there were no little critters that caused me any concern. I had a meander through their reviews, I like reading about a bit of drama:

“After 5 minutes of staying the lady from the reception stated that I did not have a paid reservation and asked me to leave the hotel. It did not help to show all the possible fees that I had in the messages from booking.com a tragedy, the approach to the customer is disastrous”

Sub-optimal.

“Mouse in the room”.

I wouldn’t be thrilled by this one. And this is a running theme (excuse the poor pun).

“There was a rat in my room, I changed the hotel immediately. It was an absolute nightmare experience. There was absolutely nothing to like.”

Some other reviewers muttered about thin walls, but perhaps I didn’t have anyone in the room next door to me. I’d likely stay here again if I had a very late flight into Gdansk, but otherwise I think I’d head for the centre as it’s a relatively easy bus journey. It all meant that I was refreshed in the morning for my first trip to Gdansk in, well, just over a year.