Category: Dorset

This rather beautiful building is Dirty Gerties Gin Parlour which is a venue that’s primarily open only for private events, but does have some general opening times when members of the public can visit. It’s a charming building and it’s thought to date from the thirteenth century, but is perhaps best known for being the town’s former court house.

There’s a plaque to the side of the door which mentions the history of the building. The listed building record adds:

“Late mediaeval timber framed building refaced in C18 and C19. L shaped. Thatched roof. Eastern cross wing refaced with roughcast. Street facade of 2 storeys with 1st floor jettied out. Gable end has elaborate carved bargeboards with pendant and an embattled beam below ornamented with a row of shields. 1st floor has casement window with dripstone above. Shop front below in similar C19 style. Western part of facade plastered and with plinth. 1 window, sashes with boxed frames and glazing bars. Eastern side facade has exposed, substantial, square panel timber framing. Court Leet was held here for some years after Court Hall was demolished in late C19.”

These were tea rooms before the current owners took over in 2018, although the premises do look like a pub from the outside. The venue themselves give some more history (something that I always think is a lovely thing to do):

“Dirty Gertie’s is situated within one of Christchurch’s oldest council properties with elements dating back to the 13th century. It was originally used as a private dwelling up until the 15th Century when it was purchased by the borough making it possibly Britain’s oldest council house.

After the purchase, the council used it as a residential property to house the towns mayor. When the neighbouring ‘’Courthouse’’ was made derelict in the 1800’s, the court leet began to meet in the back parlour room to appoint the towns mayor, constables, hayward and of course the towns ale-taster!

​In 1850, the building became a butchers shop, with evidence of the meat hooks still visible today in the back room and outside in the window frames. The butchers was owned by ‘Gert’ who unfortunately had a back lack of hygiene which earnt him the nickname locally as ‘Dirty Gert’.

The old jailhouse lockup is still situated in the back garden of the property and was used to house petty thieves back in the day.

It has also been a shoemakers and bookshop until 1944 when the production and selling of perfumes began, giving it the name ‘’The New Forest Perfumery’’.

​It was run as a Perfumery until 1996, when previous occupants decided to turn one of the rooms into a tea parlour and began its life as a tearooms until 2018 when Dirty Gertie’s was born.”

All really rather lovely. CAMRA note that alongside the spirits they sell, notably gin, there are also some keg beer options.

An Indian meal seems the most sensible option for the Saturday evening and this one was the best reviewed in Christchurch so we headed there. There’s the option of making an advance reservation on-line and I did this, although we probably didn’t need to. The restaurant was established in 1975, so it’s their fiftieth anniversary this year which is really quite impressive.

There was one large table already dining when we got there, but no other diners, although it got busier later on. As for the menu, these were very agreeable prices and I even opted for a starter as they were under £4.

The interior was clean and functional, I don’t see the need to overdo these things and it felt a sensible compromise to me.

I opted for mango lassi instead of beer, it was freshly made and tasted light and had the flavours of mango I hoped for. Ross wanted a lager and that’s handy as that’s the only beer choice that they had.

For under £4, I thought that this was a decent starter and I liked the presentation of the lemon press. The chicken pakora was a generous portion, the chicken was tender and the salad added a little something. The coating was perhaps just a little soggy in places, but the flavours were there.

I went for the chicken tikka jalfrezi with a peshwari naan and a side of lemon rice. The portion size for everything was generous, with large and tender pieces of chicken in the curry. The sauce had a depth of flavour, some actual chillies and spices so it didn’t feel drab. The rice was very lemony, but that seems to me to be the point of it. The peshwari naan was light and flavoursome, with the whole lot being at the appropriate hot temperature. The whole arrangement proved to be more than enough and I struggled to finish everything.

The service was informal, efficient and personable, so I felt welcome. I’d very much come here again if I was in the area, I liked the whole set-up. The pint of mango lassi, starter, curry, rice, naan and tip came a total of £24 each. They only gave us one After Eight mint with the bill, so Ross and I agreed that I’d eat it. I agreed the most.

Anyway, all rather lovely.

Ducking Stool Walk reopened to the public in 2021 following some repairs completed to the boardwalk which leads to the newly restored ducking stool.

This is a nice recent piece of restoration and although it’s obviously all a modern replacement from around 1986, it’s located where they think a ducking stool used to be located. The River Avon used to be faster flowing here at this point, but it has become a little silted up since the medieval period and it’s also thought that there would have been a pond here to ensure the victim got properly wet. And the victim would have likely been a female who was found guilty of gossiping or similar. They’re also known as cucking stools, although there are different opinions on the origin of that word or whether it was just a corruption of the word ducking.

A sign that used to be here, but which has now disappeared (before vanishing in some mysterious modern day heist, possibly involving a collector of obscure public information boards) said:

“The earliest documented evidence for a ducking stool in Christchurch is in the Borough Records dating from the mid-14th century. In May 1350 a property deed mentioned a ‘Schulffyngstol, another dated September 1468 calls it a ‘Shylvyngstole’.”

It is probably for the best that the ducking stool isn’t actually usable because of the lack of water, otherwise I suspects local pesky youths might soon be posting “extreme historical re-enactments” on TikTok, complete with a healthy disregard for health and safety.

Neither Ross nor I really needed chips, but it felt sensible to have something local for lunch. We had strayed into the suburb of Somerford, which is around a twenty minute walk away from the centre of Christchurch.

The menu board and everything was clearly priced. I was tempted to get a pie, but since I didn’t really need chips I decided not to get something else that I didn’t really need. The service was polite and friendly, although I was slightly disappointed that they didn’t offer different sized portions of chips as I only wanted small.

Chips seem to usually be served in boxes now, which seems to me to be a great improvement. I struggled to hold these as they were so hot, although that might be more testament to my delicate skin. I prefer the small and crispy chips and one advantage of this packaging is that they fall to the bottom and so I got to enjoy those last. As for the chips, they were golden on the exterior and fluffy inside, tasting just as I was expecting.

I obviously finished all of the chips as I’m naturally quite greedy, as did Ross with his, but it wasn’t easy as the portion was generous. As mentioned, they had an enjoyable taste, aided by the generous amounts of salt and vinegar that I decided that I needed. Anyway, the online reviews are mostly positive, the service was friendly and I thought that I got reasonable value for money.

We tried to visit this pub on the first night, but it was just too busy, so we returned earlier the next evening before it got busy. But, it was already packed, so they’re doing something right here. As for the pub name, their website notes:

“The law finally caught up with smuggler, brigand and local hero Thomas Tripp in this very pub. He was arrested here in the early 17th century and taken to the Tower of London to be hanged.”

I’m not sure about the historical accuracy of that claim (I suspect it’s entirely made up), but it’s thought that this venue has been a pub since around 1750 and it was known as the Plumbers Arms before it changed to its current name in the 1990s.

The four real ales and I’m always delighted to see Plum Porter from Titanic. CAMRA have a warning though, namely:

“It has been reported in November 2024 that the Thomas Tripp is serving keg beer through a handpump. The clip is labelled as ‘Brewery Conditioned’; that is keg beer, it is designed to be colder and gassier than cask conditioned ale.”

It’s on the third from the left if anyone wants to know. I’m personally not that concerned, but it’s good that people can make informed decisions.

And the keg options. The service was friendly and timely, it felt a friendly place to be although the loud music was just a bit too decadent for me.

And here’s my Plum Porter, it wasn’t in the best condition I’ve ever had, but still drinkable and pleasant.

The external area which was busy with their Oktoberfest event.

It’s always positive to see pubs that are so busy, it likely means that they’re effectively serving their communities well. I think I would have enjoyed it more in the day without the music, but it was still warm and welcoming.

In this feat of photographic professionalism I appear to have managed to get more of the neighbouring Indian restaurant in the photo than the actual pub. Anyway, this is the only venue in Christchurch that’s listed in the Good Beer Guide and we ventured here first.

The keg beer selection which seemed well curated and had a number of interesting options on it.

There’s also a cask beer list just visible on the right of the photo, but when we tried to go back the next day for me to work through that the venue was just too busy. The service was friendly and efficient, the team members worked well with the limited space that they had.

The coming soon board with a variety of interesting sounding beers.

My first beer was the Pomona Piece of the Pie from Electric Bear Brewing Company. It had a nice crumble taste to it, although it wasn’t quite tart enough for me, but it had pleasant and subtle lingering flavours.

And my second beer was a third of a pint of the Double Choc Fudge Cake from Yonder Brewing. This had a nice cake flavour, which is handy given the name, although perhaps it could have been richer and smoother.

The venue was busy on Friday night and very busy on Saturday night, so they’re obviously surprising and delighting the local community. This was probably the best pub in Christchurch from my perspective, so it seems a marvellous decision to put it in the Good Beer Guide. As a wider comment, this feels like the future of pubs, namely a strong focus on a community venue, decent beer and a welcoming atmosphere.