When in the airport lounge, I could see the Ryanair aircraft arriving into Norwich.

The flight to Faro was the last one of the day and so all felt orderly and well managed. It’s somehow a little better to be in the calmness of an operation about to close down rather than in the midst of chaos and overcrowding. And I don’t think that Norwich Airport is often overcrowded…

We waited outside ready to board the aircraft. I do wonder if they might have covered this area, but maybe now they’ve stopped collecting their £10 departure tax perhaps that investment will have to wait. A new roof is all very well, but one must not rush into these decadent infrastructure commitments I suppose.

Ready to board and it was aircraft 9H-VUJ, which I don’t think I’ve been on before.

I rather like these little steps at the front and these are the ones that fold-up into the aircraft. This is really clever, it saves airport fees, it’s quicker and it allows them to land in more places.

It’s a rather move convoluted affair to board using the rear steps, which definitely do not fold back into the aircraft.

The seating Gods gave me an aisle seat and I was slightly annoyed to find someone sitting in it. He willingly moved, his logic was that he thought the flight would be quiet and so he would sit in the aisle seat rather than the window seat. I did rather think he could have just sat in his actual seat and moved later on, but I kept those thoughts to myself.

As for the flight, the aircraft was a little grimy, but there is a limit to what the cabin crew can do in the 25 minute handover. The crew were friendly and helpful, but they appear to knock into the chairs with their trolleys more than Wizz Air crew. It seems that the Ryanair aircraft are slightly narrowed, as they use Boeing and Wizz Air using Airbus, so I suspect it’s just that. Or perhaps I was just in the trolley danger zone, which would be very on-brand for my travel arrangements.

And safely in Faro. It was too hot.

All of the European Entry System (EES) machines were on and the set-up here is that passengers go through the process using the kiosks and then a member of border force checks the passport but doesn’t stamp it. The whole process took around fifteen minutes which felt reasonable.

The queue for EU citizens was longer but they only had to go through the EES machines and didn’t need to see a member of border control.

There was one of the worst altercations I’ve seen at border control when two people at the neighbouring counter were told that they needed to step aside and wait for someone else to look at their passports. I don’t know why, but the two refused to move. The member of border control shouted at them to move back, then the border control officer who was serving me ran out of his counter and warned that they would be immediately deported. This rather raised the temperature of the room, which was already too hot in Portugal (as I may have mentioned) and therefore did not need further assistance.

The younger of the two women cried and said that she was confused and didn’t know what was happening. I did feel some sympathy, as border control is not the ideal environment in which to become confused or muddled up, especially when the staff are now discussing deportation with the energy of people who very much mean it. But I also quite liked this little bit of excitement, in the limited and selfish sense that it was happening near me rather than to me. My own border control officer then came back and was lovely, which was reassuring. It is always pleasant when someone returns from threatening deportation elsewhere and then smiles at you.

And here is the list of arrivals, because I remain committed to documenting the full glamour of international travel. Aircraft, queues, signage, crisps and border control tension: the modern European journey has everything.

The whole flight was entirely agreeable and it was £20 which is more expensive than my Wizz Air arrangements, but I didn’t have to pay to go to Luton. In terms of efficiency, this worked out well as the Luton rail line was closed after the crash, so this saved a bus replacement service and allowed me to enter the European Union cheaply. A smooth Ryanair flight from Norwich, a local beer beforehand and only a modest amount of border control theatre at the other end. That is about as much excitement as I require from budget aviation. So, all rather lovely.

I haven’t been to Norwich Airport lounge before, or I’ve forgotten if I have. It is a relatively small affair, but it was clean and organised. I do not need a champagne bar, rainfall shower and someone silently folding towels in the corner. I mostly need somewhere to sit, plug something in and eat cheese with the quiet dignity of a person who has walked to the airport, so my expectations were based around that rather than anything too decadent.

The staff here are particularly helpful and engaging, but I think that they know a fair number of the visitors so I imagine that they are commuting to Amsterdam or similar. My first impressions were positive given the friendly welcome and it didn’t look too busy. The lounge remains open for all the flights and there’s the usual rule that there’s a maximum three hour stay.

The food is mainly cheese, mugshots, croissants, cakes and the like.

As well as crisps and fruit.

The view over the airport apron.

There’s a limit of two alcoholic drinks per customer, although I only wanted one and that was an agreeable chilled Woodforde’s Wherry. It’s nice when lounges make some effort to provide local beers and they also had Heineken for those who aren’t fussy about what beer they drink.

On the limited number of alcoholic drinks, I’ve some sympathy for the lounge as some airports are struggling with the number of customers who are treating it as an all you can drink affair. That isn’t quite what lounges were really designed for and it’s forcing the cost of them up, so controversial as it might be, I’d be happy if every lounge limited customers to two alcoholic drinks.

I had a quick espresso although there were some issues with cleaning the coffee machine which I decided that I didn’t want to know more about. There are moments in life when curiosity is a virtue, and other moments when one should accept the coffee, drink it and not ask too many questions.

Dr Pepper, Cathedral city cheese and Mini Cheddars, this is what travel is all about.

This lounge was included in my annual Priority pass card, but walk-up availability can be purchased for £27.50. That’s possibly pushing it a little bit, but the surroundings are comfortable, the staff members were friendly and I was able to have as many crisps, cake and cheese snacks as I wanted. I think that’s a result.

As a little reward for walking to the airport from the centre of Norwich, I thought that I’d pop into McDonald’s that’s only a couple of minutes from the airport itself. I’m not sure that elite athletes generally use McDonald’s as part of their recovery and reward strategy, but there we go.

I don’t usually have such decadent Chicken Selects, but they were part of the McDonald’s Monday app offer. And a coffee as I realised I hadn’t had my usual 8 in JD Wetherspoons and didn’t want my body to become alarmed by the sudden absence of routine. It was all very nice incidentally for what that’s worth.

The team member in the restaurant, or whatever you want to call it in the modern corporate food environment, was very enthusiastic. He was checking customers knew how to order, he was doing check backs, cleaning the windows where people were sitting and I liked how he welcomed a German visitor by using what he told her was his GCSE German.

Personally, I thought the engagement was a bit much, and I preferred the grumpy-looking team member who was less conversational. This is not a criticism exactly, more a reflection of my own social expectations. Sometimes I want warm hospitality, and sometimes I just want to be handed coffee by someone who looks as though they too have accepted the basic futility of the modern world. But I would never knock enthusiasm, especially in hospitality, where cheerful effort deserves more credit than it usually gets.

This is bloody ridiculous and just greedy of Norwich Airport. The airport is operated by Regional and City Airports who also operate Exeter Airport and Bournemouth Airport and I’ve written about the latter where they’ve tried to ban walkers in a desperate attempt to get more revenue.

This is Norwich Airport, and it’s fair to say there are no real congestion problems here. We are not dealing with Heathrow at half-term or Gatwick during a systems collapse. This is an airport where the main traffic management challenge often appears to be identifying whether anything is happening. The drop-off charge therefore feels less like a necessary operational measure and more like an unnecessary little money grab with barriers and CCTV cameras.

This is Norwich Airport and it’s fair to say that there are no real congestion problems here, this is all an unnecessary money grab. Anyway, it’s McDonald’s that had to deal with the airports policies, their car park had four taxis in it and several people being picked up and dropped off as the fining regime can’t reach them there. Anyway, my usual slight complaining aside, it meant that I had reached Norwich Airport ready for my early evening flight.

One of the last aircraft that I took was from Florence back to London City airport, at the end of February 2020 when the current health crisis started to unfold in Italy. That was G-LCAA, which is one of the aircraft now parked at Norwich Airport.

Speedbird will be back soon enough…..